Date Safer and Smarter
Site Walkthroughs
Abuser Red Flags
- Early intensity: oversharing; possessiveness; pressuring for sex, commitment, and sharing of personal information, etc.
- Monitoring: frequent check-ins, constantly expecting to know where you are, who you are with, etc., manipulating you into sharing passwords/access to accounts.
- Isolating: behaviors that cause you to spend less time with friends and family and more time alone with your partner, such as sabotaging or creating tension in relationships.
- Creating Chaos: false accusations, extreme jealousy, behaving in ways that cause you to feel insecure, alternating between intensity & distance, picking fights with escalating frequency & intensity, etc.
- Criticism & Negativity: holding others to extremely high standards; criticizing their exes, co-workers, bosses, and eventually you; belittling & blaming others for their behavior.
- Violence & Threats: abuse of pets, assaults of others, and other threatening behaviors like damaging your property.
Interpreting Case Numbers
PO = Protective Order
CM = Criminal Misdemeanor
CF = Criminal Felony
If a Protective Order was filed in Oklahoma County, you can request a copy of the document from the Court Clerk’s Office.
Oklahoma State Courts Network (OSCN)
OSCN allows you to search Oklahoma court cases using a case number or the party’s name.
- Type your date’s first and last name into the boxes.
- Enter their date of birth if you know it.
- Click the Go button to search.
- You will see a list of matching cases.
- Click on the case number to see the details of the case.
Oklahoma Department of Corrections (ODOC)
The ODOC allows you to search its database for inmates and offenders.
- Type your date’s first and last name into the boxes.
- Enter their date of birth if you know it.
- Check the box next to “I’m not a robot.”
- Click the Search button to search.
- You will see all the records matching the name that you entered.
- Click on the OK DOC # to see more details.
On Demand Court Records (ODCR)
ODCR allows you to search the public court records provided by the courts who publish on this website.
- Type your date’s name (Last, First) in the box labeled Party name.
- Click Search for cases.
- You will see a list of cases matching the name that you entered.
- Click the case number to view the details of each case.
Oklahoma Sex Offender Registry
The Oklahoma Sex Offender Registry allows you to search for sex offenders registered in Oklahoma.
- Type your date’s name and their address (if you have it) in the appropriate boxes.
- Click Search.
- You will see a list of matching names.
- Click the document icon under Detail to view more information about each entry.
Oklahoma Violent Offender Registry
The Oklahoma Violent Offender Registry allows you to search for violent offenders registered in Oklahoma.
- Type your date’s name and their address (if you have it) in the appropriate boxes.
- Click Search.
- You will see a list of matching names.
- Click the last name to view more information about each entry.
Google & Social Media
Start by Googling your date’s name. Check any news stories, social media accounts, and images in the results. If their name is common, try adding the city in which they live. A search for John Doe might be: “John Doe Oklahoma City.”
If you don’t find their social media accounts via Google, try entering their name directly into search boxes for sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Things to Remember
- A clean report doesn’t necessarily mean that your date is safe to be around. These databases only contain information about court cases and arrests.
- Protective orders are dismissed for a variety of reasons, including legal delays and victim intimidation. Do not discount a protective order request just because it was dismissed.
- Be aware that abusers sometimes file VPOs against their victims.
- Most unhealthy relationships appear to be healthy at first and slowly move into unhealthy territory over time. Because most people present their “best” selves on social media, red flags may not be visible on these pages.
- You know your boundaries best. Trust your intuition when you feel that a situation is unsafe.