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VOLUNTEER & INTERN
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WORK WITH US
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ABOUT US
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ANNUAL REPORTS
CONTACT US
VISIT PALOMAR
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NEWS
CLASSES & EVENTS
SHOP
EN ESPAÑOL
GET HELP
WHAT TO EXPECT
OUR PARTNERS
HELPING SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT
HELP FOR YOUTH
CLIENT RESOURCES
HOLISTIC HEALING
DIGITAL SAFETY
DATE SAFER & SMARTER
STRANGULATION EDUCATION
OFFENDER RESOURCES
GET INVOLVED
DONATE
VOLUNTEER & INTERN
TEEN BOARD
VOICES
WORK WITH US
SPECIAL PROGRAMS
CAMP HOPE
LEGAL NETWORK
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SYMBOLS OF HOPE
ABOUT
ABOUT US
OUR LEADERSHIP AND PARTNERS
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Step 1 of 15
6%
Do you live with your abuser/assailant?
*
Yes
No
Do you have children?
*
Yes
No
Do you have pets?
*
Yes
No
Do you want to create a plan to stay safe in your home?
*
Yes
Not today
To stay safe in my home, I can:
Install a security system that includes cameras inside my home
Purchase rope ladders to escape from second-floor windows
Keep a prepaid cell phone in a designated "safe" place for myself or my children to use in an emergency
Keep night lights throughout the house so I can move safely in the dark
Strategically place personal security items such as pepper spray in my home, hidden from public view and out of reach of children and pets
Make sure items that might be used as a weapon against me, such as knives, are kept in safe and/or unusual locations. If possible, I can begin moving these items around in our home so that my partner stays somewhat unsure of their locations and does not grab them instinctively.
Tell my neighbors about the abuse and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious sounds coming from my home
Make sure my children know my neighbors and would feel safe going to their home and speaking with them if something should happen
Plan escape routes from my home and practice getting out safely with my children
Keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times
Secure my browsing data on shared computers and keep this document safe and hidden
To stay safe in my home, I can:
Make sure all doors have locks my abuser/assailant does not have keys to. I may change the locks.
Make sure my abuser/assailant cannot open the garage door. I can change the code if necessary.
Put a lock on gates or fences into my yard or onto my property.
Keep windows shut and locked at all times
Install blinds or curtains on all windows and keep them closed
Replace wooden exterior doors and doors that have windows with solid steel safety doors
Install a security system that includes cameras outside and inside my home
Purchase rope ladders to escape from second-floor windows
Strategically place personal security items such as pepper spray in my home, hidden from public view and out of reach of children and pets
Make sure items that might be used as a weapon against me, such as knives, are kept in safe and/or unusual locations.
Tell my neighbors that my abuser is not allowed near my home.
Make sure my children know my neighbors and would feel safe going to their home and speaking with them if something should happen
Plan escape routes from my home and practice getting out safely with my children
Keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times
To stay safe in my home, I can:
Make sure all doors have locks my abuser/assailant does not have keys to. I may change the locks.
Make sure my abuser/assailant cannot open the garage door. I can change the code if necessary.
Put a lock on gates or fences into my yard or onto my property.
Keep windows shut and locked at all times
Install blinds or curtains on all windows and keep them closed
Replace wooden exterior doors and doors that have windows with solid steel safety doors
Install a security system that includes cameras outside and inside my home
Purchase rope ladders to escape from second-floor windows
Strategically place personal security items such as pepper spray in my home, hidden from public view and out of reach of children and pets
Make sure items that might be used as a weapon against me, such as knives, are kept in safe and/or unusual locations.
Tell my neighbors that my abuser is not allowed near my home.
Plan escape routes from my home and practice getting out safely
Keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times
To stay safe in my home, I can:
Install a security system that includes cameras inside my home
Purchase rope ladders to escape from second-floor windows
Keep a prepaid cell phone in a designated "safe" place for to use in an emergency
Keep night lights throughout the house so I can move safely in the dark
Strategically place personal security items such as pepper spray in my home, hidden from public view and out of reach of children and pets
Make sure items that might be used as a weapon against me, such as knives, are kept in safe and/or unusual locations. If possible, I can begin moving these items around in our home so that my partner stays somewhat unsure of their locations and does not grab them instinctively.
Tell my neighbors about the abuse and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious sounds coming from my home
Plan escape routes from my home and practice getting out safely
Keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times
Secure my browsing data on shared computers and keep this document safe and hidden
Do you want to make a plan to stay safe when you're away from home?
Yes
Not today
Do you have your own car?
Yes
No
Do you use social media?
Yes
No
To stay safe when I'm away from home, I can:
Keep my cell phone charged and in arms-reach at all times
Keep a cell phone charger in my car and in my purse
Keep some cash in my car, some in my wallet/purse, and some in a third safe location
Keep a bag packed with emergency essential items like clothing and toiletries in my car and at a safe location away from home such as at work or a friend's house
Park my car near lights, close to building entrances, and near other vehicles. I can try to be aware of security cameras and park within view of them.
Notify friends or family of my location. I may consider using location sharing on my cell phone with someone I trust.
Change my routines and routes
Turn off location sharing for social media
Be careful what information I post to social media. I will not post images of my location or check in to locations while I am still there.
Consider replacing my cell phone and car if I fear they may be tracked
Carry personal security items such as pepper spray and learn ways to use everyday items such as car keys in my defense if necessary
Drink responsibly and maintain control of my person and belongings at all times
To stay safe when I'm away from home, I can:
Keep my cell phone charged and in arms-reach at all times
Keep a cell phone charger in my car and in my purse
Keep some cash in my car, some in my wallet/purse, and some in a third safe location
Keep a bag packed with emergency essential items like clothing and toiletries in my car and at a safe location away from home such as at work or a friend's house
Park my car near lights, close to building entrances, and near other vehicles. I can try to be aware of security cameras and park within view of them.
Notify friends or family of my location. I may consider using location sharing on my cell phone with someone I trust.
Change my routines and routes
Consider replacing my cell phone and car if I fear they may be tracked
Carry personal security items such as pepper spray and learn ways to use everyday items such as car keys in my defense if necessary
Drink responsibly and maintain control of my person and belongings at all times
To stay safe when I'm away from home, I can:
Keep my cell phone charged and in arms-reach at all times
Keep a cell phone charger in my purse
Keep some cash my wallet/purse and some in a safe location
Keep a bag packed with emergency essential items like clothing and toiletries at a safe location away from home such as at work or a friend's house
Notify friends or family of my location. I may consider using location sharing on my cell phone with someone I trust.
Change my routines and routes
Turn off location sharing for social media
Be careful what information I post to social media. I will not post images of my location or check in to locations while I am still there.
Consider replacing my cell phone if I fear it may be tracked
Carry personal security items such as pepper spray and learn ways to use in my defense if necessary
Drink responsibly and maintain control of my person and belongings at all times
To stay safe when I'm away from home, I can:
Keep my cell phone charged and in arms-reach at all times
Keep a cell phone charger in my purse
Keep some cash my wallet/purse and some in a safe location
Keep a bag packed with emergency essential items like clothing and toiletries at a safe location away from home such as at work or a friend's house
Notify friends or family of my location. I may consider using location sharing on my cell phone with someone I trust.
Change my routines and routes
Consider replacing my cell phone if I fear it may be tracked
Carry personal security items such as pepper spray and learn ways to use in my defense if necessary
Drink responsibly and maintain control of my person and belongings at all times
Do you want to make a plan to keep your children safe?
Yes
Not today
To help my children stay safe, I can:
talk to them about the abuse or violence in an age-appropriate manner
Make sure they understand that the abuse is not their fault
Tell them to never, ever get in the middle of a fight or abusive incident
Talk to them about a safe place in our home if things become frightening
Consider keeping a prepaid cell phone in the safe place in our home with 911 pre-programmed so they can call for help
Teach them a safe word and emergency plan if I use the safe word
Talk to their school or caregivers about the situation
Do you want to make a plan to keep your pets safe?
Yes
Not today
To keep my pets safe, I can:
Get them microchipped the local shelter or humane society
Keep tags on their collars, including: my phone number, address, and our vet's info
Consider getting GPS trackers for their collars
Ask family, friends, or neighbors if they would be willing to keep my pets for an undetermined amount of time in an emergency
Identify shelters or organizations that will foster pets of domestic violence victims until I can maintain a safe home for them
Be aware of my partner's moods and avoid leaving my pets alone with him/her if there is a chance that my pets may be harmed
Do you want to make a plan for keeping others you care about safe?
Yes
Not today
To help other people I care about stay safe, I can:
Talk to them about the situation if I fear they may be the targets of retaliation
Tell them about this safety planning tool so they can create their own safety plan
Talk to them about obtaining a protective order if my abuser/assailant has made threats against them or behaved in threatening ways in their presence
Do you want to create a financial safety plan?
Yes
Not today
To improve my financial security, I can:
Check my credit score and make sure my partner has not taken on any debts in my name (www.creditkarma.com)
Place a voluntary security freeze on my credit. I will have to do this for each: Equifax (1-800-349-9960) / Experian (1-888-397-3742) / TransUnion (1-888-909-8872)
Take money from our joint accounts if I need to leave
Open new checking and savings accounts in only my name
Open a credit card account if I don't currently have one for emergencies and to build credit
Create a plan to pay off any debts I may owe
Create a plan for maintaining an emergency savings fund of $500-$1000
Create a budget based on only my income
Consider additional education, a job change, asking for a raise, or side jobs to increase my financial independence and security
To improve my financial security, I can:
Check my credit score and make sure my partner has not taken on any debts in my name (www.creditkarma.com)
Place a voluntary security freeze on my credit. I will have to do this for each: Equifax (1-800-349-9960) / Experian (1-888-397-3742) / TransUnion (1-888-909-8872)
Close any joint accounts I held with my abuser/assailant
Open new checking and savings accounts in only my name
Open a credit card account if I don't currently have one for emergencies and to build credit
Create a plan to pay off any debts I may owe
Create a plan for maintaining an emergency savings fund of $500-$1000
Create a budget based on only my income
Consider additional education, a job change, asking for a raise, or side jobs to increase my financial independence and security
Do you want to create a safety plan for your online accounts?
Yes
Not today
To keep my online presence secure, I can:
Change my passwords to: email accounts, social media accounts, bank accounts, accounts with mortgage and other loan-holders, accounts with utility companies, etc.
Consider deleting any email and social media accounts my abuser may have access to
Open at least one new email account that is completely secure and begin sending all notifications to that account
Update my privacy settings on social media accounts
Do you want to see ideas for protecting your phone and mail?
Yes
Not today
To protect my phone and mail, I can:
Consider getting a new phone on my own separate account
Consider getting a P.O. box and having sensitive information sent to that address
To protect my phone and mail, I can:
Consider getting a new phone number
Consider asking the USPS to keep my address anonymous, especially if I have moved
Ask to be removed from online and offline white page listings
Enroll in an address confidentiality program
Do you have or are you considering petitioning the court for a protective order?
Yes
No
Would you like ideas about safety with a protective order?
Yes
Not today
If I have a protective order (VPO) in place, I will:
Keep a copy of my VPO in my home and in my purse/bag/car. I will also take a photo of my VPO with my cell phone in case I am ever without a paper copy.
I will give my VPO to the police departments in the jurisdictions where I live, work, and visit often.
If there is a state or local registry of protective orders, I will make sure mine is listed on it.
I will tell my family, friends, neighbors, employer, minister, and other persons I am with frequently that I have a protective order in place
If my abuser violates the VPO, I can call the police and report the violation
Are you divorced or divorcing your abuser?
Yes
No
Do you want to create a plan for safety during divorce?
Yes
Not today
Do you want to create a plan for safety with divorce and custody or visitation issues?
Yes
Not today
During a divorce, I will:
Hire my own attorney. I can access free or reduced fee services through Palomar
Understand that my abuser will likely try to make a divorce difficult. I will prepare accordingly and ask my attorney how best to protect myself.
Consider accessing counseling services to cope with a difficult divorce
To protect myself and my children during divorce and custody/visitation, I can:
Hire my own attorney. I can access free or reduced services through Palomar.
Understand that my abuser will likely try to make a divorce and custody battle difficult. I will prepare accordingly and ask my attorney how best to protect myself and my children.
Consider accessing counseling services for myself and my children to cope with the divorce
If I do not have a VPO, my VPO does not cover my children, or I am otherwise required to abide by a custody order with my abuser, I will insist on safe, public locations for exchanges, such as the police department
I can ask the court to order supervised visitation on behalf of my children for their safety if my attorney advises
I can call the police if my partner violates our custody and visitation order. I can also file a motion against my partner for contempt of court for a custody/visitation violation
Are you interested in other ways to stay healthy and safe during stressful situations?
Yes
Not today
My physical and emotional health and safety are important. I can:
Make sure that I get plenty of sleep
Make sure I have enough healthy food to eat. Palomar can refer me to local food banks and other services for assistance
Exercise at least 3 days per week
Obtain health insurance if I do not already have it
Schedule wellness visits with doctors
Make regular appointments with a counselor or advocate for emotional support
Attend a support group
Take time each week to do something relaxing just for myself
Renew relationships with friends, family, or other important people in my life
Make a plan to contact someone I trust if I am missing my abuser
Read daily affirmations, devotionals, or other inspirational materials
Make a plan to manage anxiety and conflict if I must be in contact with my abuser
Stop drinking and/or using other controlled substances
Moderate my drinking and use only in safe environments with people I trust
Stay away from my abuser if he/she is drinking or using drugs
Do you want to create an emergency safety plan? (recommended)
Yes
No
If I need to leave my home quickly, I can escape in the following ways:
From _____________, I can use __________________, and go to ______________.
In order to leave quickly, I can keep my purse and keys:
(location)
I will teach my children that our code word or phrase is:
If I use our safe word, my children will know to enact the following plan:
If an argument or altercation begins, I can try to move to a safer location. The safest place in my home is:
I will try to avoid rooms with dangerous objects (such as the kitchen) and rooms from which I cannot escape (such as a bathroom or closet).
I can trust my instincts.
I can give my abuser what they want in order to calm them down, as long as this does not endanger myself or my children.
It's important that I keep copies of the following documents in a safe place that I can access in an emergency:
My driver's license or ID
My birth certificate
My social security card
Birth certificates and social security cards for my children
Passports
Insurance cards
Marriage license, divorce decree, custody order, protection order, or other legal documents
Welfare identification, work permits, green cards
Lease/rental agreement, house deed, mortgage information
Banking documents, extra checkbooks, duplicate debit/credit cards
Medical records
School and vaccination records for my children
Keys for my house, car, office, storage unit, etc.
An address book in case I lose my cell phone and contacts
If I fear I may have to leave my home in a hurry, I can also put the following in a safe location:
Medications, copies of necessary prescriptions, phone numbers of doctors/prescribers I need
Jewelry and other items of special sentimental or monetary value
Cash
I will make sure the following items are easy to access in case of an emergency.
I will remember that if we are in immediate physical danger, none of these items are worth more than our safety.
Children's favorite toys and/or security items
Items of sentimental value that we cannot or will not keep in a safe place away from home
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